hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
