i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
