And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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