So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
