I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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