Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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