btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
