i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
