so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
