You're my little dorito
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
