after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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