Apparently you make a good broom.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
