So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
