I'm gonna have a badass scar
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
