Swine flu. Run for my life!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
