I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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