Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
