We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
