i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
