Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
