You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
