i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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