I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Send help, water and tortillas.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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