so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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