Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
