Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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