I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
