My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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