if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
