I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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