right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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