There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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