? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
where am i from again
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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