I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
