Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
