I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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