Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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