you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
