therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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