dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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