brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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