i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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