Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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