Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
