"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Fuck appropriateness.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
