I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
