I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
