Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
