I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
