after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
