"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
