Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
